On our last of five days of considering “get-to” vs. “have-to,” Christina provides some great feedback:
“Yes, there are some things we ‘have to’ do/be, etc. and that’s not necessarily a ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ thing … and it just might be a very positive thing for us to take on that sense of responsibility … sacrifice even. Words that scare us perhaps, but necessary ways of standing up for and shouldering what we need to take a stand for. And somehow it seems that it’s gone out of fashion/vogue to be the one not to divert our eyes; to be the one who will say, ‘no, no more of that,’ or ‘yes, I will take an unpopular or unsafe position on this issue.’ Sometimes we do ‘have to’ do things and maybe that’s just fine … it’s not victim-hood, it’s taking a necessary and vital stand.”
Excellent feedback and true enough! There are some things that we “have-to” do – that we are compelled to do by duty, responsibility, honor, commitment, principle.
Her words got me thinking: Perhaps simply losing any sense of being put upon – or unduly privileged- is a way to transcend this “have-to” vs. “get-to” paradigm?
Perhaps the most accurate way to address this issue is to reframe it in a far more powerful way. Shift to “Choose-To”!
How would focusing on “choose-to” make life clearer, more enjoyable, and far more powerful?